Whirlwind
by nocloudypooh
Summary: Things aren't always as it seems. They were both wrong and both right. Dawn thought she was foolish. Paul had his own ways of protecting her. But it was not meant to be, when she lost all hope and ran away from the altar. [Ikari] Three-shots, three POVs (Dawn, Paul and their son) and an epilogue.
1. Dawn

Edited: 31/8/2017. Minor edits to the details, but the tone remains the same.

Original summary: Dawn was foolish to fall in love with Paul, allowing her life to be so intricately linked with him. Deep down, she prayed for a miracle, holding on to the tiniest of hope. But there was no hope to hold on to, and she can't take it any longer. So she does the one thing she knows is right - she ran away from the altar. [Ikari] Three-shots based on Dawn's, Paul's and their son's POV.

Quick notes: _italics means thoughts_

 ** _bold italics means emphasis._**

* * *

 **Whirlwind**

I. Dawn

Dawn fell in love with him before she could stop herself. It hadn't begun that way, she was sure. He annoyed her and made her so worked up. Every. Single. Time. And on top of that, he doesn't even bother to remember her name until much later.

But somewhere between all that, she fell in love with the stony, emotionless boy. From absolute hate, to curiosity, to butterflies and wham. Suddenly she can't get the purple-haired boy out of her mind, and she knew then that she has fallen hard.

She tried to control it, to not let it show. Worse of all, she doesn't want him to know, because how much more pathetic can it get to want someone who doesn't want her back. _But I failed_ , she remembers with a jolt. She remembers everything. How she threw herself at him one day, how he resisted her for a moment, and how glad she was when he responded afterwards.

They kept things up, making out in secret every now and then, keeping it from everyone they know. He made it clear, that he's doing it because he can't control his hormones, and not anything else. Tells her that he doesn't feel for her in the same way. But she lets it all pass, because it was enough to know that he wanted her, whatever the reason it may be. She lets herself believe that this was his way of showing affection, of showing love.

She told him one day she's pregnant. "Okay," he had responded, but he didn't say any more. No negative comments, no lashing out at her, nothing. The lack of response feels like a slap to the face, and Dawn wonders if she would prefer it if he had been angry at her. But Dawn lets it all slide, taking his response to mean that he doesn't mind, that he would be responsible for it.

But he didn't. He lets her tummy grow big, leave her to explain to her mum alone, lets her endure the ordeal alone. But he had smiled, when he saw the tiny bundle in his arms. A small one, but Dawn knows him enough that it was a big deal for Paul Shinji.

The baby cries, refusing to stop even as his parents take turns to rock him. "Jake," Paul said, as he tried once more to comfort the crying child. To her surprise, the baby stops crying, and she gave a small smile. "Jake Shinji." she said, testing the sound of the name on her tongue. "Yeah, Jake is a nice name."

His patience with Jake surprises Dawn, for he never showed the same patience with her. She feels a little jealous of the boy, **_their son_** , but she pushed them all away. _No, that's not what a mother should feel,_ she scolded herself. Mother. The word feels foreign to Dawn's mind, even as Jake grew from a baby to a toddler who can walk and waddle around. But she loves her son. That much she was sure, perhaps as much as she loves his father. But her own insecurities haunt her. _Maybe, just maybe, I'm not cut out to be a mother._

He asked her to marry him. Actually no, he didn't. He found her one day and announced through gritted teeth that they are going to register their marriage. It wasn't anything romantic, not by a long shot. She doubted if there was any romantic intentions at all, since all he was concerned about was to get his females fans off his back. She's not surprised; afterall, he is the new Sinnoh Champion, and no one can deny that he's hot. She blushed a little at the thought, remember the feeling of butterflies in her stomach when she was young and in love with him. Somewhere deep inside her, she's glad that he lets her brand him and her own.

News of their engagement travelled far and wide. Dawn still remembers the tabloid headlines, and how pleased she had been. "Prince Champion engaged with former Princess Coordinator." Prince and Princess. She liked the sound of that. It sounded romantic, sweet, hopeful. _Like a fairytale_ , she mused.

She ought to have known that she shouldn't have kept her hopes up. Two simple signatures and they got married legally. But nothing changed. They still lived separately, and he only stopped by once in a while to see Jake. And just Jake, barely acknowledging her when they met. But still she played the role of the dutiful wife, to take care of the son, to take care of the husband. When he's around.

And then the tabloids got worse. "Princess not good enough for Prince?" screamed one cover, insinuating that there were issues with Dawn that led to the state of their marriage. Like it was her fault they didn't hold a wedding, her fault she had a son born out of wedlock, her fault that they don't live together. Dawn doesn't know why she read them. But she does it anyway, and each time she finished, she feels her heart getting hollower, her soul emptier.

Paul hadn't like the tabloids news. Bad publicity for his image as a Champion, he had said. So he made changes, arranging for a wedding, arranging for them to live together after it. And throughout all that, Dawn was hardly consulted for her opinion, too tired then to contest what was expected of her - expected to listen, expected to follow his plans, which was for the good of _**all**_ of them.

Everyone else was happy for her, happy that she finally got the chance to wear a wedding dress, that she can proudly proclaim her status as a wife. Her mum was beyond relieved, relieved that Dawn finally got out of this ambiguous situation she doesn't have a name for, having been nothing but worried for her daughter. A voice nagged at the back of her head. _Isn't this what you wanted?_

She stands in the waiting room, in the wedding dress that had been picked out for her. Once in a lifetime, people had said. Her hands brushed across the fancy lace of her dress, and she wonders how other women felt when they are about to get married. She looks at herself in the mirror. A girl stares back at her, and she wonders what the reflection sees. Her make-up is thick, courtesy of her coordinating friends, who had been so eager to make her look beautiful on her special day. "This is going to be the happiest day of your life," they said. _Are you happy?_ she thinks.

She doesn't recognise herself anymore.

The altar awaits her. Any moment now, her mum would open the doors and tell her it is time.

She turns back to her reflection, staring at the bride in the mirror one last time.

And then she made her choice.

* * *

A/N:

Got inspired by angsty Ikarishipping stories and the idea came to my mind. I like the many ways this ship can be represented, and the angsty ones are so tragically beautiful. Hope I don't sound like I'm sadistic or something.

Hope you enjoyed this little story. Will do 2 more chapters, one from Paul's POV, and then final one from their son.

Don't ask me why I named their son Jake. I was sort of name hopping. I contemplated Dusk initially (which I think is a beautiful name for a boy), but it doesn't sound like a name that Paul would name his children. Especially not when it's the opposite of/related to Dawn. If he was more romantic then he might have, but he isn't in this story. Jake just sounds like a nice neutral name that not only sounds nice with the surname, but isn't out of place with the other characters' name.

Let me know what you think by reviewing! I would love to hear what you have to say.


	2. Paul

Edit: 31/8/2017 Minor grammar changes.

* * *

 **Whirlwind**

II. Paul

The altar is almost full, buzzing with general chatter and excitement. Paul could make out the groups of guests that were seated and standing around - the gym leaders, champions from other regions, Dawn's friends and family, Reggie. Admittedly, it was a lot more people than Paul was comfortable with, but it was all for practical reasons. He could only imagine what the tabloids would say if he, the Champion of Sinnoh held a small skimpy wedding and didn't invite all the important people in Sinnoh.

He sighed silently at the thought. The tabloids had been giving him a living hell for the past few months, running gossips and untrue stories about him and Dawn. Perhaps some of the facts might have been true, but it still didn't give them the right to invade his private life. He was only glad that they didn't manage to get a photo of Jake. The boy was only three, and he didn't want his son to grow up in the spotlight, especially not for something this scandalous.

The buzzing got louder, telling Paul that the ceremony is about to begin.

"Nervous?" Reggie asked from beside Paul, grinning at him.

"No," he replied flatly, refusing to let his brother get to him. In all honesty, he was that little nervous about the ceremony, and of the life that would come afterwards. He never liked the idea of commitment - his parents taught him too much. But he couldn't push it back any more, not when it's hurting his family.

Family. He never admitted it out loud, but that's what Dawn and Jake are to him. _'A real man doesn't show his emotions. Anyone who does that is just pathetic and weak,'_ a traitorous voice that sounded like his father whispered in his mind.

Reggie looked at him sympathetically, clapping a hand to his shoulder. "Don't worry about it too much," he said quietly, "this ceremony is just the cherry on a completed cake."

Paul nods stiffly, understanding the analogy. They know each other best afterall, as Reggie single-handedly brought him up after the incident with their parents. _'No, I'm not going to remember that right now,'_ as he forcefully shifted his thoughts elsewhere.

He fidgets slightly in his suit, feeling a little warm and uncomfortable. For being such an important person, Paul never liked wearing formal attires, preferring the casual attires he got used to wearing from his days as a travelling trainer. He wonders if all grooms are supposed to be nervous, and if Dawn is feeling nervous in her wedding gown too.

He heard someone say they are going to get Dawn, his cue to walk down the aisle and wait for his bride. The buzzing was immediately replaced with clapping, cheers and some wolf-whistling. _'It's a nice feeling,'_ he notes. It's not as grand a reception as when he won the Sinnoh League, but this was more warm, more sincere. He liked it, and a small smile graced his face before it became neutral once more.

He stood right at the front, looking towards the bright doors for a sign of his bride. He hadn't seen her wear the wedding gown, which he had left her bridesmaids in charge of. Not that he would have succeeded because it's apparently unlucky for the groom to see the bride wearing the gown before the wedding day. Paul scoffed silently at the superstitions - he was the one who got the gown from a eager sponsor afterall.

 _'Maybe I should have,'_ he would think afterwards, because it turns out that he was never going to have the chance of seeing her in a wedding gown.

The altar buzzed again, when the awaited bride didn't appear for a long time. And then there was a shout, of voices in panic, and the bridemaids appear at the doorway, without the bride.

"She's gone!" someone shrieked. Paul's eyes widen at the news, and for once, he couldn't control the impassive facade he offers to everyone else. But he couldn't move, couldn't say anything, almost like his brain short-circuited right then. Two words, and his world came crashing down.

"What do you mean she's gone?" came Reggie's voice, demanding an explanation.

"She's.. she's not in her room! Aa-and sh-she left the gown behind," came a stuttered response. From May, her name was May, one of Dawn's friends.

"Was there anything else she left behind?" he asked quietly, as he tried to make sense of the the whirlwind of emotions within him. He doesn't know why he asked that. Wishing for a note perhaps, something that would explain her behaviour.

But no, he was denied that opportunity to know what was going through Dawn's mind when she made her decision.

Then there was a smack, and Paul felt pain on his left cheek. Johanna had stormed forward to give him a slap, shocking everyone wide-mouthed and silent. "It's all your fault!" she seethed, shaking uncontrollably. "If you hadn't treated her the way you did she wouldn't be gone!"

A part of him, the guilty one, knew he deserved it, so he doesn't respond, letting her pound on his chest relentlessly as she blamed him. He probably deserved more, but Johanna was already being pulled back by the bridemaids. It was then he realised he was surrounded by Dawn's friends, and for a moment, he was envious that Dawn had this group of friends who's got her back. _Why did she left these all behind?_

 _..._

He sat alone in the empty altar, staring ahead but not seeing anything. Dawn's friends have scattered to look for her, and nobody said a thing when he didn't offer to help, though it didn't stop the accusing glares headed his way. He's waiting. Some sort of news that will tell him where Dawn is right now, tell him why she ran away from the altar. A part of him is bitter, he knows that. After all, that's one more person that had abandoned him, even if he had expected her to a long time ago. And just when he thought that Dawn really did understood him, even if no one else does.

He never forgot her name. But it gave him some sort of satisfaction as she made a big fuss every time over how and why he couldn't remember a simple name such as Dawn. It had been intentional, he remembers, because he needed to show that he doesn't care about other people, and forgetting her name just seemed like the perfect opportunity. As time went on though, he found himself doing it out of habit just to get her to talk to him somehow, even if their interactions was anything but friendly.

It came as a shock when Dawn kissed him suddenly one day as they crossed paths. He remembers feeling electricity coursing through his body, his mind suddenly blank at the touch of her soft lips. And then he was no longer thinking, letting his heart do whatever it wants to do. Somehow, they ended up making out in the Pokemon Centre room he rented and they just kept things up from there.

In an attempt to keep her away from him when he felt his icy cold exterior being threatened, he bluntly told Dawn that he doesn't like her in the same way, that it's just how a guy's hormones would react when a girl threw herself at him. And it wasn't a complete lie - he was sure that he didn't like Dawn in the same way he knows she does (and who doesn't, with the obvious way she was acting), though he was less sure about it being all hormones. It sounded plausible anyway, and Dawn never questioned his claims, only giving him a squeeze as she thanked him with a gentle smile. Her lack of questioning and his consistent self reminders only served to validate the reasoning even more, as he remained convinced that he felt nothing for her. (And maybe, just maybe, somewhere deep down, he was convinced that Dawn could read all the unspoken thoughts, all the things he can't say.)

When Dawn came blurting out to him that she is pregnant, it took all he had to not panic right in front of her. There had been an accident with the protection and he had dismissed the possibility of getting Dawn pregnant only to be confronted with the reality of it. They were both young, - he was only 21, and Dawn was only 19 - way too young to be parents, not to mentioned that he never intended for it at all. His parents had been a prime example of how much hurt and pain they can cause their family, and he had made a vow to himself to never have a family, so he wouldn't hurt others, and others wouldn't be able to hurt him. Amidst all the flashbacks and the shock from the announcement, Paul managed an "Okay," in acknowledgement, before walking away as calmly as he could and leaving Dawn behind.

He didn't remember much of what happened that night, only lots of pain and bruises, as he trained relentlessly (and recklessly) through the night. He was a coward and he knew it, and a part of him was lost, wishing for someone to guide him in doing the right things - someone paternal, like a father figure he never had. How was he supposed to know what it means to be a father when he doesn't have a good role model?

He avoided Dawn as much as he could after that - enough to act the coward he knew he was, but not enough for the guilt to cripple him. He acted no different to her than before, the mask so comfortable that it was hard to shed. He ended up drunk on the night he was supposed to break the news to Johanna with Dawn, and some time through the night, he might have blurted out to the whole pub that his girlfriend was pregnant with his child, causing the tabloids to have a field day for months afterwards, trying to guess who the mysterious girlfriend is. It was of course the perfect excuse to not see Dawn as often in an effort to protect her from the press, which Johanna had readily agreed to prevent undue pressure for her pregnant daughter. Dawn hadn't been too happy with that decision, but she agreed that it was prudent to avoid bad press.

He would have missed the birth of Jake too, if Reggie hadn't dragged him to the hospital, screaming at him that his girlfriend is giving birth and that he should be there for her. He remained outside the operation theatre, terrified of entering and of what he could see inside. Instead, he sat like a statue, mind gripped in fear and whirling with thoughts of how things would change, how can he be a father and just how everything can be so **_wrong_**.

The baby looked so small in Dawn's hands, as he watched her pale and sweaty face smile down gently at the baby - his son - **_their_** son. He was still terrified, even as they forced the little bundle into his hands, moving his arms to hold the child in the proper manner. The child looked so innocent then, and in that moment, everything felt right to Paul, like he was meant to be cradling his son, someone who wouldn't be able to abandon him. He smiled.

The name Jake came out of nowhere. Perhaps it was the name of someone he knew, part of a memory long forgotten. But it felt right, his son had responded, and Dawn liked the sound of it. Jake simply slept away in his arms, as he lost himself in thoughts of how he could show love to his son.

Jake brought to his life a presence he hadn't felt in a long time - happiness. And it showed in his actions when he showed a tender side of him that no one else had seen in him before. It was a nice feeling, to be back and see Jake look up at him with eyes of adoration, and the warmth that he felt just with Dawn accepting him as who he is. He still heads out for days and occasionally, weeks, to train and complete his champion duties, and they still don't live together, but coming **_home_** to his family was to him the best part of leaving. The years that passed as Jake grew from a baby to a toddler were the most joyful he remembered, as he felt loved, and loved in return.

The tabloids eventually caught on to the scope though, and with Dawn and Jake at the centre of unwanted attention, whatever part of his mask that he had shed came back up in self defence. Annoyance set in as his family was gossiped about in the whole of Sinnoh, and the implications that had on his image as Champion and most importantly, **_Dawn's_** image as a former Top Coordinator. There were enquiries from the League and other nosy reporters, and the pressure built up until he cracked, demanding Dawn to marry him soon.

It was another slip, even though he's not drunk this time. He was annoyed at the press, annoyed at the situation and mostly annoyed at himself, as he tersely told Dawn that he had announced their impending marriage to the press, of which the first step would be to register for their marriage. Dawn had been surprised and happy, but by then he was too busy berating himself for allowing things to turn out this way to be feeling happy about anything. It didn't help that it was only a brief reprieve, the situation escalating further when the tabloids poke and prodded at them some more. He felt so much guilt then, to have caused such pain to Dawn when he promised himself years ago never to hurt his family that way, though he was glad and hopeful when Dawn didn't leave right there and then amidst all the drama.

"They can't find her," came the soft voice of Reggie breaking into his thoughts. "Johanna said she had grabbed some things from her room, including her pokeballs. We can only assume that it was her intention to leave and hope that she knows what she is doing."

Paul said nothing as he continued to stare ahead, his fists clenched tighter in response. He heard Reggie sigh, and with a pat on his shoulder and a whispered "I'll be outside if you need me," he was left alone in the altar again. He stared, and saw nothing but how he would be placing their wedding ring on Dawn's finger, like it should have happened, his mind torturing him with the imaginations of the what ifs.

"Daddy?" a small voice asked, and Paul finally broke his stare to turn to look at his son, who had toddled near him without him noticing. Everyone always said Jake looked like him with his colouring, but he always thought otherwise, seeing in Jake her nose, eye shape and even face shape.

"Is Mummy going to come back?" Jake asked, voice filled with an innocence that only a three year-old would have.

He broke down right there, clutching his son in the altar where he expected to complete his family, only to have the opposite happen.

"I don't know," he whispered after a while, because he can't bear to admit out loud that no, Dawn probably would never come back.

It's ironic, he thinks afterwards, that at the end of it all, Dawn was still troublesome. But only because he made her so.

* * *

A/N:

And the chapter is finally out. Would you believe me that I actually got the chapter going when I first posted the story, and it took me many many sittings to get through this? I have to admit I got stuck because of the way I wrote the first chapter, which tied my hands in how Paul's narrative would turn out. I wanted more of a Paul/Dawn miscommunication story rather than a Paul was mean to Dawn story, but the first chapter came out a little harsher than I intended, which I had problems with when I was writing this chapter.

I hope I managed to weave the narratives of Paul and Dawn well. There's a lot of read between the lines, and parallels, so you might have to sort of compare the two chapters side by side to see things from two perspectives. In response to my reviewers, I wasn't trying to absolve Dawn of any fault in the first chapter, and neither am I doing it for Paul here. Neither of them are blameless, but they both had issues that the other didn't know of and hence they didn't resolve things **_together_**.

I *might* expand this to be more than a three shots, though the next chapter will still likely be the POV of a grown up Jake, if only I had the opening in my head for the longest time (as long as the start and end of this chapter). We'll see where the next chapter leaves me. Hopefully, it doesn't take another year to churn it out, but I swear, I never actually forgot this story.

A reviewer pointed out that my story is like Unworthy by Aeneid, which is actually one of the inspiration for this story. That story is unfortunately incomplete though, and uh I didn't like the direction of the story, because in my mind, if Dawn really wants to run away, she would have run far away rather than staying close to her friends. That seems to be what Korean dramas does anyway... Hence I took the premise of Dawn running away, which was an idea that I liked, and thought of a story based on (really really bad) miscommunication. I would also like to clarify my intention of having an OC/son feature in this story though, which is to round up the story in a related perspective, as per the original intention to write a three-shot, so it's not just some random plot decoration.

Hope that answers the questions. Longish chapter and long A/N aside, I'm moderately pleased with how this turns out. And if you are an Ikari fan, I've got another one-shot called 'The Sun and the Moon', which is rather nice if I do say so myself. Really, I've reread it a few times and it's one of my favourites I've written.

Till next time.


	3. Jake

**Important note:** I made some edits to Chapter 1 and 2 to make the flow better, so you might want to reread that if you are an existing follower. The tone of the story remains the same, but I edited some details in Chapter 1 and mostly grammar in Chapter 2. I've also changed the summary to make it more reflective of the entire story, which is probably why you didn't recognise it. Now, please enjoy the story.

* * *

Whirlwind

III. Jake

After Mum left, Dad became a broken man. Or he's too unfeeling to be broken, if you listen to Grandma Johanna or Aunt May talk about it. But then again, Dad never had the best relationship with Grandma Johanna or Aunt May or any of Mum's friends really.

Dad took me in when Mum left, but he was... a rather distant father. Which was funny, because that's exactly what I remembered Mum being. They loved me, I could tell, but there always seemed to be some sort of wall between me and my parents, a distance that they were unable to breach no matter how much they wanted to. But they were there, and that was all that mattered to me, even though most of my memories consisted of just one of my parents with me. (I am but a child. A child, with all the defining colouring of his father that reminded his mother of the lover that was hardly there. A child, with all the facial structure of his mother, that haunted his father of the life that he could not have.)

But I knew Dad wasn't the same though, not since Mum left us. I may not remember much from those days, but I know that Dad was different somehow, a melancholic air clinging to him that wasn't there before. For someone whom I spent the first few years thinking was strong and confident, a child's idolisation of his father, it was confusing and sad to watch Dad being broken as I grew up some more, and understood things a little better. Truths and facts were hushed up from me, adult conversations held in a whisper, and even questions blatantly evaded. But I was a bright kid, as Grandma Johanna always said, and young as I was, it didn't take me too long to piece together the story of what happened. (But never whose fault, no, because nobody was wrong, and nobody was right. They just did whatever they thought was the best.)

Despite all that, I understood. Understood that it was all my fault that everything happened. (And isn't it true, when I finally got old enough to piece back the puzzle, that if I had not existed, none of these would have happened.) It was difficult, growing up as the sole reminder of everything that was wrong between my Mum and Dad.

Grandma Johanna always comment how much I am my mother's son by being a coordinator and I think that even she forgets sometimes when she recounts her own experiences as a coordinator, that I'm not her daughter, just someone remaining that still held ties to the daughter she loved and lost in a day.

Dad, on the other hand, shied away from all mention of Mum, though it was obvious in his pained expressions sometimes that he too sees her in me. Not the same way Grandma does though - It's not my looks, the passion for coordinating or the talent I had for all things cooking related, but the way I behave in manners reminiscent of Mum, the way my eyes looked that has my father wondering how he raised a son so similar to his mother, when she hasn't been around for years. It's a tidbit of information that I collected, when I overheard Dad and Uncle Reggie talking late one night, with all the hunger and curiosity of a child that never heard his father talked about his mother before. It's on the tip of his tongue, I know, but he never found the courage to tell me the one sentence I would have loved to hear from him and not anybody else. _"You are so much like your mother."_

It's funny now that I think about it, that I'm older now than my mother ever was when she left Dad, left us.

"You seem lost in thought, young man," a voice interrupted my thoughts. Turning my head to the direction of the voice, I found a middle aged woman smiling kindly at me, dressed up for the cool weather with a coat and a hat obscuring her hair from my view. I smiled back at her in greeting, before turning back to the scene in front of me, the water gently sloshing towards the banks. The Lake of Rage is nothing like the Lake Trios of Sinnoh, but it's beautiful all the same.

"Just thinking about things," I replied vaguely. "The Lake of Rage is a beautiful place."

"It is," the woman agreed, moving to sit beside me in companionable silence.

For a while, we just sat there in silence, the stranger and I, looking out into the lake and letting the sounds of nature pass over us. Her arms was folded neatly on her laps, her eyes closed and the tiny tilt of her lips contrasted greatly with the wrinkled furrows around her eyes. Despite that, she hasn't lost much of her beauty to age, and she must have turned many heads when she was younger. Her poise was both graceful and peaceful, but there was also a definite sense of melancholy around her. It made me wonder what a woman like her would be doing at Lake of Rage, so far removed from the world.

"It's rude to stare you know," she said suddenly, eyes still closed. I jerked at being caught, my face flushing in embarrassment. The lady opened her eyes to look straight at me, and the look in her eyes sent a jolt through my body - there was amusement, a knowing tease, and a blue that tugs my memory relentlessly as I felt like she could look straight into my soul. I cleared my throat hastily and mumbled an apology, earning a light chuckle from her, her laughter tinkling in the air.

"What's gotten a young man like you so troubled?" she asked when I got silent again.

I stilled slightly, debating with myself if I wanted to tell my troubles to a stranger I've just met. "I'm getting married," I admitted at last.

The lady smiled, the corners of her eyes crinkling slightly. "That is very nice. Congratulations to you. Your parents must be delighted," she said sincerely.

"I'm looking for my mother," I continued, a painful lump stuck in my throat as I thought about my mother.

The woman's face shifted into an unreadable expression and I turned away to brace myself for her pitying, as it happened with so many people. To my surprise, none came, and I found myself feeling silently grateful that she hadn't offered any pitying.

"I'm sure she has her reasons," she murmured at last.

I thought back to the stories of my mum and dad, to the guilty and faraway looks on my dad when he thinks I'm not looking. "Yeah, that's what Dad said."

The woman didn't say anything more, and appeared to be deep in thought herself. It was weird to share such personal things with a stranger, but it felt oddly light to share it with somebody who hadn't been hurt in the process.

"You must blame her a lot," the woman said suddenly. I blinked at her and frowned in confusion, trying to determine whether I blamed my mum for anything. "No," I said honestly, surprising myself. "I just.. I just want to see her. Is it possible to miss something that you don't know or don't remember much?" I asked, feeling like a little boy under the motherly gaze of the woman before me.

A sad, understanding smile passed her face and she took my hands in hers, the gesture both comforting and motherly, which made me want to spill more to her. "I don't even know where she is or what she looked like anymore," I confessed, the heaviness clutching at my heart as I mourned for the loss of my mother again.

"No photos?" she inquired curiously.

"I.. no. I didn't tell anyone that I was looking for her. Only my fiance and she wouldn't have any photos of my mum. Besides, I don't think she still look the same after so many years."

The woman hummed in agreement, her hands lightly stroking mine in what must be a comforting gesture. Her hands are smooth and warm, lacking any of the calluses that would be associated with a trainer. The distinct bulge of pokeballs under her coat told me that she does own Pokemon though, and idly I wondered if she was a Coordinator or something, which would explain her graceful poise.

After a long while, she released my hand, and made to stand. "It was nice talking to you, young man." She hesitated. "I can't say much about your mother, but I wish you all best for your marriage," she said sincerely.

I smiled gratefully at her, noting that she didn't offer any assurance that I would find my mother soon, or that she would come back soon. It was a depressing thought, to think that I would never find Mum, but the lack of assurance was comforting all the same, that it's okay even if I never found her. She smiled one last time at me, before turning her back from me to leave. It was odd, watching her leave, something tugging at my heartstrings like I was losing something important all over again.

"Wait!" I called out impulsively. "My name is Jake. What's your's?"

The woman stilled for a moment, before she half turned back to me. Her face was unreadable once more and I wanted to ask her about her problems, but the way way she was looking at me, it was like she was seeing someone else instead. "People here call me Hikari-san," she said quietly. She threw one last glance at me, seemingly drinking in the sight of me, before she turned around and left.

I stared after her until she couldn't be seen anymore. On the other side of the lake, there was a splash as a trainer released what looked like an Empoleon to surf on the waters, causing the waves near me to get more choppy before it settled again.

I sat there alone for a long while afterwards, with only my thoughts and her words, her comfort for company. By the time the sun has fully set, I had made up my mind to return to Sinnoh.

...

The wedding went off without a hitch, and even Grandma Johanna was in such a good mood that she didn't pick on Dad at all throughout the ceremony. I was happy, married to the love of my life, surrounded by the people I love, but a part of me still ached, like all the times growing up, for the space that should have been filled by my mother. Sometimes, I wondered if I shouldn't have gave up on looking for my mother just like that. But the woman that I met at Lake of Rage - Hikari-san - was right. My mother had her reasons for leaving, and if she wanted to be found, we would have found her already, or she would have showed up. It was painful, but it felt like it was the only thing I could do for my mum.

"Congratulations, son," Dad said as he came up beside me, when he noticed that I have stood aside from the small group of well-wishers. He was smiling, a rare soft look on his face, but I hadn't missed the glazed look he had earlier, no doubt thinking about his own ruined wedding and the runaway bride. Even now, there were still something behind his eyes, mourning the what ifs. Smiling back sadly, I reached out to squeeze my father's hands. "I tried to look for Mum," I confessed quietly, and Dad blinked a surprised look at me.

I could count the number of conversations I had with Dad about Mum on one hand, so this was something that I have never told him, my desire to see her, to look for her. I could see that the admission throwing Dad into a loop, his mind furiously thinking of what it meant. There were probably lots of questions that he wanted to ask, but in the end, he just settled for one. "Why did you stop?"

I pondered the question for a moment. "I met a woman at the Lake of Rage, and we talked. I told her about Mum, but she didn't offer me any sympathies. It made me realise some things, and I realised that if Mum wanted to be found, we would have found her already," I recounted. "I still wanted to see her, but I have accepted that I might not see her again if she didn't want me to."

Something passed through Dad's face as he heard me, but it was gone before I could decipher it. "She sounds like a wise woman," he said.

"Yeah," I agreed. "Hikari-san didn't talk much, but she made me realise many things." I paused. "It was a short encounter, but there's a sense of familiarity with her that I imagined what being with Mum would be like." There was definitely a change in Dad's expression now, something like sadness and surprise, but we were interrupted by more well-wishers before I could ask.

In the end, I never did ask Dad.

...

Mum never came back. I was disappointed, but I understood, that she had demons that she couldn't overcome, much like Dad had.

I met Hikari-san again the next time I went back to the Lake of Rage and we struck a close acquaintance since then, exchanging letters across the regions, and I made it a point to visit her at the Lake of Rage whenever I could. She never shared much about herself, but seemed to enjoyed it when I share with her my life in Sinnoh with my family and friends. She smiled with me when my daughter was first born, laughed with me when I shared something funny, and cried with me, when Grandma Johanna moved on to the afterlife. I can't see her of course, but over the years, I've gotten the knack of telling her mood from the way she writes.

Mum never came back. I was disappointed, but I was grateful that I met Hikari, that she allowed herself to be close to me.

She's not Mum, not really, but for someone who had been pining for her all my life, that is enough.

* * *

A/N:

I loved this chapter, that is both sweet and bittersweet. The story ends here, but I thought of an epilogue as I was writing this to fill in some of the in between. Hope you enjoyed Jake's POV. I'm loving him as an OC already. Let me know what you think.

To those who stuck with this from the start, thank you for waiting. I hope the recent edit to the previous chapters made this even better than before.


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